Want to Help a Teen Through a Tough Time? Here’s How to Counsel Them Right
Adolescence can feel like a minefield for both teens and the adults trying to support them. There are intense emotions, identity shifts, academic stress, and often, a lot of confusion. It's no wonder that teens sometimes shut down or lash out, leaving parents unsure of what to do. During these vulnerable moments, many parents and caregivers ask, How to counsel teens? The answer isn't always clear-cut, but what’s certain is that empathy, patience, and professional guidance can make a world of difference.
Encouraging a teen to open up or even attend therapy can be tricky. It's not about forcing them to “get help,” but about opening up a path for healing. If you're in this position, you're not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out alone either. Wellman Psychology is here to support you and your family through compassionate, youth-focused care. Our therapists specialize in adolescent mental health and work with families to ensure teens feel heard, respected, and supported.
8 Strategies to Start the Conversation
Helping a teen begin therapy or consider emotional support requires tact. Here are eight proven ways to get that door open:
1. Affirm Their Worth
Teens are extremely sensitive to the language adults use. Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” which may feel judgmental, say something like, “You deserve to feel better.” Replacing “need” with “deserve” frames therapy as a form of care, not correction. It sends the message that seeking support is a right, not a punishment.
This small shift in language can create an atmosphere of empowerment and dignity, both essential when trying to reach a teen.
2. Suggest a Trial Period
Many teens resist therapy because it feels permanent or overwhelming. Suggesting a short-term trial can reduce anxiety. Say something like, “Why don’t you try three sessions? After that, we can decide together what comes next.” This removes pressure and helps the teen feel like they have some control over the process.
A trial feels manageable, especially when the first few sessions are just about getting comfortable.
3. Frame It as a Family Issue
Sometimes teens resist therapy because they feel singled out. Reframing mental health as a family concern helps reduce stigma and guilt. For example: “We’re all working on things, and getting help is something we do together when life feels tough.”
When teens see therapy as something that benefits everyone, not just them, they may become more open to the idea.
4. Appeal to Compassion
If your teen isn’t ready to do it for themselves, ask them to consider doing it for someone they love. A heartfelt, “Would you go, just for me?” can be surprisingly effective. Teens often act out of love and loyalty even when they’re unsure about themselves.
This works especially well with emotionally intelligent teens or those who tend to be nurturing toward others.
5. Normalize Therapy
Therapy should not feel like an alien concept. Normalize it by pointing out that many people, including friends and celebrities, see therapists. You could say, “You know, a lot of people I respect go to therapy. It’s totally normal to get support when life feels hard.”
When therapy feels like something “regular people” do, teens are more likely to be receptive.
6. Involve Them in the Process
Give teens ownership over the process. Ask if they’d prefer to choose their own therapist or have you help. Let them know they can be part of decisions like where sessions take place or how often they go.
Feeling involved helps reduce resistance and encourages cooperation.
7. Leave the Door Open
Even if a teen says no initially, keep the idea of therapy on the table. Say something like, “It’s always an option. Whenever you feel ready, we’ll figure it out.” Teens often need time to sit with the idea before acting on it.
A non-pressuring tone fosters trust and can lead to acceptance down the road.
8. Be the Parent When Necessary
If there are serious concerns like depression, self-harm, or safety issues, you may need to step in and make the decision for them. Say something like, “I love you too much to let you go through this without support. I’m making this call as your parent, and we’ll revisit it together soon.”
Sometimes, taking the lead with love and firmness is the most caring thing you can do.
5 Actionable Tips for Moving Forward
Once your teen is open to the idea of therapy, your next steps matter just as much. These five tips can help create a smooth transition from conversation to care.
1. Choose the Right Practitioner
Look for someone who specializes in adolescent therapy. Wellman Psychology offers a roster of Teen Counselling Chicago professionals trained specifically in teen mental health. A good therapist understands developmental psychology and can adapt their methods to fit your teen’s personality and challenges.
Ask your family doctor, school counselor, or friends for recommendations, or contact a reputable clinic directly.
2. Meet the Therapist First (Without Your Teen)
It’s okay to vet the therapist first. Schedule a parent-only consult to ask about their experience, therapeutic style, and communication. If it feels like a good fit, you’ll be more confident introducing them to your teen.
This builds trust on both ends and allows you to advocate for your teen effectively.
3. Prepare Your Teen in Advance
Don’t blindside them with a surprise appointment. Give them a heads-up about what to expect, including who the therapist is, how long the session lasts, and what the first meeting might be like.
This reduces anxiety and makes therapy feel more approachable.
4. Plan the Day Thoughtfully
Avoid scheduling therapy on a day that’s already packed with stressful commitments. Instead, plan something pleasant around the session, like coffee afterward or a walk. Let the day feel like their day, not just a “therapy day.”
This helps make the experience more positive and less clinical.
5. Accept Resistance Gracefully
Even with all the preparation, your teen might still push back. Instead of fighting, consider attending the session yourself and using it as a parent consult. The therapist may have ideas for re-engaging your teen or may offer to reach out directly.
Sometimes, hearing from a professional—not a parent—makes all the difference.
Important Reminders for Parents
Progress takes time. Don't expect overnight change.
Therapy is a tool, not a fix-all. Your teen still needs your presence, support, and consistency.
You’re still the most important adult in their life. Don’t underestimate the impact of simply being there.
Therapy works best when teens feel supported at home. Continue showing up, listening without judgment, and offering love even when things feel tough.
How to Counsel Teens?
Counselling teens isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about connection. Start by creating a space where they feel safe to talk. Don’t push or lecture; listen more than you speak. Let them know that their feelings are valid, even if they don’t make complete sense to you. Most of all, be consistent—trust builds over time, not in a single conversation.
Whether you're a parent, teacher, or family friend, your approach can either open a door or close it. Choose empathy.
What Are the 5 Basic Counselling Skills?
To support a teen through counselling—whether professionally or personally—these five core skills are essential:
Active Listening
Truly pay attention without interrupting. Nod, affirm, and reflect what they say to show you're engaged.Empathy
Try to understand how they feel, even if you don’t agree. Empathy builds connection.Genuineness
Be honest and authentic. Teens can spot fake or rehearsed advice from a mile away.Unconditional Positive Regard
Accept them without judgment. Let them know they are loved, no matter what they share.Open-Ended Questioning
Ask questions that invite conversation, not just “yes” or “no” answers. For example, “What’s been on your mind lately?” instead of “Are you okay?”
These skills don’t just apply in therapy—they apply in every moment of connection you share with your teen.
Ready to Support Your Teen?
Your teen doesn’t have to go through this alone—and neither do you. At Wellman Psychology, our team specializes in Teen Counselling Chicago through life’s toughest transitions. We understand how to meet teens where they are and help them move forward with strength and support. Whether you're just starting the conversation or facing resistance, we’re here to guide your next steps. Don’t let confusion or fear delay important help. Reach out to Wellman Psychology today—because your teen’s peace of mind is worth it.
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