What Are the Five Stages of Grief and Loss

The 5 Stages of Grief Explained—And Why Everyone Experiences Them Differently

When someone we love passes away or we face a major life loss, emotions can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and even confusing. You may ask yourself: “What are the five stages of grief and loss?” This model, first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969, outlines the common emotional stages people may go through when coping with loss. While not everyone experiences them in the same order, the framework helps us better understand grief and validates the wide range of emotions we feel.

In this article, we’ll walk through the five stages of grief, why they’re not as linear as people think, and how recognizing them can help you on your journey of healing.

What Are the Five Stages of Grief?

The five stages of grief are:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

These stages describe the emotional responses people may have when faced with significant loss, most commonly, the death of a loved one. But they can also apply to other forms of grief, such as divorce, job loss, illness, or other major life transitions.

It’s important to note that grief doesn’t follow a neat, step-by-step timeline. You might move back and forth between stages, skip one entirely, or feel multiple stages at once. The grief cycle is unique to every person.

Stage One: Denial

Denial is often the mind’s first defense against overwhelming pain. It can feel like numbness, shock, or disbelief. You may find yourself saying, “This can’t be real,” or going about your daily life as though nothing has changed.

Denial acts as a buffer, giving you time to process the reality of the loss slowly. For some, it lasts only a short period; for others, it may linger longer. Denial isn’t about refusing the truth; it’s your body and mind’s way of protecting you until you’re ready to face the weight of your grief.

Stage Two: Anger

Once the shock wears off, anger often rises to the surface. You may feel frustrated with yourself, with others, or even with the person who died. Some people direct their anger at doctors, God, or the unfairness of life itself.

This stage can feel uncomfortable because society often discourages open expressions of anger. But anger is a natural part of grief; it’s a way of channeling the intensity of pain into something more active. Recognizing it as a stage of healing can prevent you from bottling it up or feeling ashamed of it.

Stage Three: Bargaining

In the bargaining stage, you may find yourself replaying “what if” or “if only” scenarios. What if I had taken them to the doctor sooner? If only I had done things differently. These thoughts are part of trying to regain a sense of control when life feels completely out of control.

For people with spiritual or religious beliefs, bargaining might take the form of promises to a higher power: “If you bring them back, I’ll be a better person.” Although it doesn’t change the outcome, bargaining reflects the deep yearning to undo the loss and highlights the human need for meaning.

Stage Four: Depression

Depression in grief isn’t the same as clinical depression, though the two can overlap. This stage brings a deep sense of sadness, emptiness, and despair. You may lose interest in daily activities, feel withdrawn, or have trouble sleeping and eating.

It’s one of the longest and most challenging stages of grief, but it’s also a sign that you’re confronting the reality of your loss head-on. While painful, allowing yourself to feel sadness can help you process emotions rather than suppress them. Seeking support during this stage, whether through loved ones, support groups, or professional counselling, can make a tremendous difference.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re “over” the loss or that you no longer feel sadness. Instead, it means you’ve come to terms with the reality of the situation. You begin to find ways to live with the grief while still moving forward with your life.

In this stage, you may start creating new routines, rediscovering joy, and even finding ways to honor your loved one’s memory. Acceptance is about integration: carrying the love and memories with you while continuing to live fully.

What Is The Toughest Stage Of Grief?

While every person’s grief journey is unique, many mental health professionals and people who have experienced loss agree that the depression stage is often the hardest. Unlike denial, anger, or bargaining, which can feel more active, depression tends to be quiet, heavy, and isolating.

During this stage, people may withdraw socially, lose motivation, and struggle to find meaning in their daily lives. The sheer weight of sadness, combined with the physical exhaustion that grief often brings, makes this stage particularly draining.

That said, some find anger the hardest to manage because it can damage relationships, while others feel denial lingers longest and delays healing. The “toughest” stage depends on the individual, their support system, and their coping style. What’s important is to recognize that whichever stage feels most difficult, it is a natural part of the healing process, and support is available to help navigate it.

Why the Stages Aren’t Linear

A common misconception is that grief is a straight line: first denial, then anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. In reality, grief is far messier. You may cycle between anger and depression, experience acceptance only to feel denial again later, or skip some stages altogether.

Think of the stages as signposts rather than steps on a ladder. They describe the emotions many people encounter during grief, but there’s no “right” way to grieve. Your journey is unique, and moving through these stages may take weeks, months, or even years.

How to Cope With the Stages of Grief

Understanding the stages of grief is only the first step. Coping with them requires patience, self-compassion, and support. Here are some strategies that may help:

• Allow your feelings: Whatever stage you’re in, remind yourself that your emotions are valid. Don’t pressure yourself to “get over it” quickly.
  

• Seek connection: Talking about your grief with supportive friends, family, or support groups helps you feel less alone.
  

• Practice self-care: Sleep, nutrition, and exercise may seem secondary during grief, but they are vital for emotional resilience.
  

• Honor your loved one: Rituals like lighting a candle, creating a memory box, or journaling about your loved one can turn grief into meaningful remembrance.
  

• Get professional support: If grief feels overwhelming or persistent, grief counselling or therapy can provide tools for navigating the journey.
  

Final Thoughts

So, what are the five stages of grief and loss? They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, a framework that helps us understand the complexity of grief. But remember, they are not a rigid checklist. Grief is deeply personal, and your journey may not look like anyone else’s.

By recognizing these stages, you can better understand your emotions, normalize your experiences, and take steps toward healing at your own pace.

If you’re struggling to cope with grief and need compassionate support, Wellman Psychology offers grief counselling in Chicago, IL. Our experienced therapists provide a safe space to process your emotions and guide you toward healing. Contact us today to book an appointment and take the first step toward emotional recovery.

Feel free to check out our social media links below:

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Find out more articles that can help you below:

• How Much Does Grief Counseling Cost

• What Happens in Grief Counseling

• What Is Grief Counseling Like

• How Do I Know If I Need Grief Counseling

What Is Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy

What’s the Difference Between Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy?

Grief is a universal human experience, yet it feels deeply personal and overwhelming when it happens to us. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another kind of major life change, the loss leaves behind a void that isn’t easy to process. This is why so many people ask: “What is grief counselling and grief therapy, and how can these approaches help me heal?”

While grief is natural, it can sometimes feel unbearable. For some, support from family and friends is enough. For others, professional help through grief counselling or grief therapy becomes essential. Though the two terms sound similar, they serve different purposes. Understanding how they differ can guide you toward the type of support you need most.

What Is Grief Counselling?

Grief counselling is designed to help people cope with the normal process of grieving. It is often short-term and focused on providing emotional support and practical tools to navigate life after a loss.

A grief counsellor creates a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can talk openly about your feelings, whether that’s sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion. Many people find that simply having someone to listen, validate their emotions, and reassure them that their grief is natural is profoundly healing.

Some of the main goals of grief counselling include:

• Normalizing the experience: Grief can make you feel like you’re “losing control.” A counsellor helps you see that your emotions are part of a natural process.

• Teaching coping strategies: Simple practices such as journaling, breathing exercises, or mindfulness can make grief more manageable.

• Providing structure: Having regular sessions gives people something to hold onto when life feels chaotic.

• Encouraging healthy outlets: Instead of suppressing grief, counselling helps channel it into positive actions, like creating memory rituals or joining support groups.
  
  

Grief counselling is best suited for those experiencing typical bereavement, where the sadness is painful but doesn’t completely disrupt daily functioning.

What Is Grief Therapy?

Grief therapy, by contrast, is a more intensive form of treatment designed for people experiencing complicated or prolonged grief. Sometimes grief does not ease with time; instead, it deepens or lingers, interfering with work, relationships, or even physical health.

A grief therapist is usually a licensed psychologist or psychotherapist trained to help clients unpack more complex emotions. Therapy often goes beyond providing comfort; it seeks to resolve underlying issues and rebuild the ability to live a fulfilling life.

Signs you may need grief therapy include:

• Feeling “stuck” in grief months or even years after a loss.

• Avoiding reminders of the person or situation to the point that it disrupts daily life.

• Intense guilt or anger that doesn’t fade.

• Developing anxiety, depression, or insomnia is directly tied to grief.

• Loss of interest in everyday activities and relationships.
  
  

Grief therapy may involve techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to reframe negative thoughts, trauma-focused approaches if the loss was sudden, or even guided exercises to help resolve “unfinished conversations” with the person lost.

In short, while grief counselling helps you manage normal grief, grief therapy helps you heal when grief becomes overwhelming or complicated.

Key Differences Between Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy

To make the distinction clearer, think of grief counselling as short-term emotional support and grief therapy as long-term psychological treatment.

• Grief Counselling: Best for natural grieving, offering tools, coping mechanisms, and reassurance.
  
  

• Grief Therapy: Best for complicated or prolonged grief, offering clinical techniques to restore balance.
  
  

Another way to look at it: counselling is like first aid for the heart, while therapy is specialized care for deeper wounds.

The Benefits of Grief Counselling

Even when grief is “normal,” the benefits of counselling can be transformative. People who attend counselling often report:

• Feeling less isolated: Having someone listen without judgment can ease the loneliness of loss.

• Greater emotional understanding: Talking through grief helps you recognize your triggers and responses.

• Practical coping skills: You’ll learn techniques that can calm overwhelming emotions when they strike.

• Validation of grief: Hearing “what you’re going through is normal” can be incredibly comforting.
  
  

For many, grief counselling shortens the most intense phases of grieving and provides hope that life can eventually feel meaningful again.

The Benefits of Grief Therapy

Grief therapy goes a step further. It’s not just about talking, it’s about untangling complex emotions that prevent healing. Benefits include:

• Addressing unresolved trauma: Especially important if the loss was sudden, violent, or unexpected.

• Restoring daily functioning: Therapy helps you get back to routines, work, and social connections.

• Preventing long-term complications: Complicated grief, if untreated, can evolve into depression or other conditions.

• Reframing meaning: Therapy helps people process loss while also discovering new ways to find joy and purpose in life.
  
  

For those whose grief feels never-ending, therapy can provide a structured path back to emotional balance.

What to Expect in Sessions

A common question is, “What actually happens in a session?” While each professional has their own approach, here’s what you can typically expect:

• In grief counselling, sessions are often conversational. You’ll talk about your loved one, share feelings, and explore coping strategies. Your counsellor may recommend journaling or mindfulness practices between sessions.
  
  

• In grief therapy, sessions are more structured. The therapist may use evidence-based tools like CBT or trauma processing techniques. You may be guided through memory work, visualization, or exercises that help address unresolved guilt or fear.
  
  

Both approaches aim to help you process grief in a way that feels supportive and constructive.

When Should You Seek Help?

There’s no “wrong” time to seek grief support. Some people benefit from counselling soon after a loss, while others turn to therapy months later when grief hasn’t eased.

Here are some guidelines:

• If you’re coping but want extra support, start with counselling.

• If grief feels overwhelming, persistent, or is interfering with your ability to function, seek therapy.
  
  

The most important thing to remember is that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Final Thoughts

Grief counselling and grief therapy share the same goal: to help people navigate the painful journey of loss. Counselling offers short-term support and coping strategies, while therapy provides deeper, long-term healing for complicated grief. Both are valuable depending on your needs, and both can help you move from despair toward hope.

If you’re struggling with loss and wondering which path is right for you, Wellman Psychology offers both grief counselling and grief therapy in Chicago, IL. Our compassionate team will meet you where you are, whether you need emotional guidance or deeper therapeutic support. Contact us today to book an appointment and take your first step toward healing.

Feel free to check out our social media links below:

• Facebook 

• Instagram

• Twitter

• GMB

Find out more articles that can help you below:

• How Much Does Grief Counseling Cost

• What Happens in Grief Counseling

• What Is Grief Counseling Like

• How Do I Know If I Need Grief Counseling

• How to Deal With the Grief of Losing a Parent

What Happens in Grief Counseling?

Grief is a universal experience, but it affects each person uniquely. Many find themselves wondering, What happens in grief counseling? and how it could be the right path for them. For Chicago residents, grief counseling is a supportive, structured environment to process loss, led by trained professionals who understand the complexities of grief. With nearly 70% of Americans experiencing significant loss before age 30, counseling can make a critical difference in helping people heal from the pain and challenges of grief. Here, we’ll explore some specific approaches in grief counseling, share statistics, and dive into how Wellman Psychology’s grief counseling in Chicago can support those struggling with loss.

The Phases of Grief Counseling

Grief counseling typically involves several stages or phases designed to help people progress through their emotions and eventually find peace. Therapists often use models like the Five Stages of Grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), though in practice, these stages are not always linear. Many clients find themselves moving back and forth between these stages as new memories or life events reignite feelings associated with their loss. At Wellman Psychology, we know that grief is rarely straightforward, and our counselors help clients embrace the non-linear, often unpredictable nature of grieving.

Chicago’s multicultural community brings diverse perspectives to the grieving process, and we incorporate culturally sensitive approaches to ensure that our support respects individual beliefs, traditions, and family values.

Unique Techniques and Approaches in Grief Counseling

Grief counseling extends beyond talking; it includes creative, alternative therapies like art therapy, narrative therapy, and even animal-assisted therapy. Studies show that creative therapies significantly reduce symptoms of depression in grieving clients, with about 60% of individuals in art therapy programs reporting decreased anxiety and improved mood. Art therapy allows clients to express feelings that may be too painful to articulate verbally, while narrative therapy helps individuals reframe their loss through storytelling, creating new perspectives on their journey. These methods are particularly effective in Chicago, where people from different backgrounds may find traditional talk therapy limiting.

Moreover, grief counseling frequently includes mindfulness practices and body-oriented therapies. Techniques like yoga, meditation, and breathwork can support physical and emotional healing. For many, grief is not just an emotional experience; it can manifest physically, leading to exhaustion, tension, and pain. According to recent research, mindfulness practices can reduce physical symptoms of grief by as much as 40%. At Wellman Psychology, we often incorporate these somatic approaches in our grief counseling sessions to help clients alleviate the bodily toll of grief.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Grief: A Balanced Approach

While some believe grief counseling is solely about emotional expression, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) plays a significant role in managing complicated grief. Complicated grief affects an estimated 10-20% of bereaved individuals and involves symptoms like prolonged sadness, avoidance of reminders, and intense yearning. CBT helps clients reframe thoughts that reinforce prolonged grief. Studies indicate that CBT can reduce symptoms of complicated grief by 30-50%, with long-term results showing increased resilience and emotional stability. This approach is particularly relevant for Chicago residents coping with traumatic losses, as CBT’s structured framework allows individuals to regain a sense of control in their lives.

Group Grief Counseling: The Power of Community Healing

Grief can be isolating, but group therapy provides a supportive environment for sharing and learning from others who understand the same pain. In Chicago, where neighborhoods often have tight-knit communities, group grief counseling can serve as a powerful healing tool. Studies show that nearly 80% of people in group counseling report feeling less alone in their grief, and around 65% say group sessions positively impact their recovery. Wellman Psychology offers both individual and group counseling options, understanding that some may benefit from a combination of both to find the most comprehensive support.

Learn more about “What Are the Types of Group Therapy?” by visiting our blog page today!

Addressing the Impact of Loss on Relationships

One aspect of Grief Counseling Chicago IL, that many overlook is how grief affects relationships. For many, the impact of loss reaches beyond themselves and into their relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Couples may find their relationship strained due to differing grieving styles, while friendships may shift as individuals isolate themselves or become emotionally distant. Grief counseling can help individuals and families improve communication during these challenging times. By acknowledging and discussing relational dynamics, counselors provide strategies to rebuild trust, understanding, and connection.

In Chicago, where family ties and community support are vital, Wellman Psychology’s Grief Counseling Chicago IL includes relational counseling techniques, helping families and friends navigate the strain that grief can place on loved ones. Through guided exercises and open communication, clients can strengthen bonds and build supportive networks that bolster resilience.

How Grief Counseling Can Help the Chicago Community

For Chicago residents, access to empathetic, high-quality grief counseling is essential to community well-being. The city has a high number of sudden, unexpected losses, from accidents to community violence. For those affected, grief counseling offers a safe, constructive space to process trauma and loss, with support tailored to Chicago's unique environment. At Wellman Psychology, our Grief Counseling Chicago IL services are specifically designed to cater to the needs of this community, offering flexible scheduling, culturally sensitive practices, and a deep understanding of the city's diversity.

What Happens in Grief Counseling at Wellman Psychology?

At Wellman Psychology, grief counseling is a personalized journey that respects each client’s unique experience. Through a combination of traditional and alternative therapies, our counselors help individuals process emotions, develop coping strategies, and eventually find ways to honor their loved ones while moving forward. We’re committed to helping Chicago residents navigate their grief with dignity and compassion, offering comprehensive support that goes beyond the traditional methods to incorporate techniques that work for everyone.

Conclusion

Grief counseling provides a structured path to help individuals manage their emotions, regain control, and find meaning after a loss. From traditional therapy to creative, body-centered approaches, grief counseling at Wellman Psychology is tailored to meet the needs of Chicago’s diverse community. Our services are here to guide residents through the complexities of loss, helping clients feel supported and understood throughout their journey.

If you or a loved one in Chicago is struggling with grief, Wellman Psychology is here to help. Reach out to us for compassionate grief counseling tailored to your needs. Our licensed therapists are experienced in a range of techniques to support you through every stage of grief. Don’t face loss alone; let us guide you on your journey toward healing. Contact Wellman Psychology today and start your path toward peace and resilience.